20250126 – God’s Time, Not Mine
Having recently passed the three quarter century mark has given me pause to reflect on the last 75 years God has gracefully granted me on this earth, and particularly on a few events which could have ended this passage much earlier. It makes me wonder exactly what is pure accident, and what may have been a God-incidence, God’s timing, or God’s plan. After all, as a follower of Jesus, I believe God created us and endowed us with free will. Consequently, we are free to make decisions and mistakes which affect God’s plans for our lives and may even result in injury or death.
God’s plans for each of us are sometimes hard to discern, but I believe are evidenced by the ways He has gifted and challenged each of us as He sets us on our individual paths. It’s up to each of us to discern what our gifts and challenges are, and how we apply or cope with them to figure out what path we choose that will provide our life’s focus and result in a happy and joy-filled life.
Do I think that our days are numbered to the extent that the day of our death is preordained? No. Do I think that our days are numbered in large measure by the decisions and mistakes we make, and the effects that other people’s decisions and mistakes have as they interact with ours, yes. Do I believe that God’s timing and plans for each of us place opportunities in our paths to affect the decisions and mistakes we make, yes. And do I believe that God sometimes steps in, with a nudge, or even a miracle, to try to keep us on a life path consistent with His plans and timing, yes! I believe that God may step in if He decides that, despite the decision or mistake, it just isn’t the right time, that He might have something else He needs for us to do.
When I was twelve I was on a Boy Scout camp out. There was a swimming test in a local lake. I tried, gave up, went under, panicked, and nearly drowned. Another scout pulled me out. I don’t know if I needed to be revived, but I remember waking up on the beach and feeling as if I had died and came back. I believe God had other plans for me. I committed to learning to swim, earned my mile swim badge, my Swimming Merit Badge, my Life Saving Merit Badge, and was certified and recertified for years after in Red Cross lifesaving. On a high school youth group canoe trip my friend and I swamped our canoe in a log jam on a fast running rain swollen river. We went under, I self-rescued, managed to find my friend’s arm under the canoe and log jam, and pulled her out. I don’t know how much danger she was in, but God had other plans for her, and me, a consequence of my near drowning years before.
When D and I were married and in our twenties living in Colorado I had three close calls, two of them with D. The first was on a four wheel drive trip over four mountain passes on a long weekend with a large group of other four wheelers. The first night out we drove up the road to Mosquito Pass until well after dark and well above tree line, pulled off the road into an old mining property, stopped, got out and immediately discovered that we had stopped just a couple of feet short of an open, water-filled mine shaft large enough to swallow our Land Cruiser, but tight enough that we could only have opened the rear doors to escape. Several others in the group were in similar situations. We both experienced a huge feeling of fear and relief, but regained our composure, set up camp while treading very carefully around the property, and enjoyed one of the most stunning displays of the Milky Way we had ever seen. Mere chance, or Gods plan? I prefer to believe He saved us for other things.
The second was on another four wheel drive trip over Kenosha Pass. Our friends decided to try some other side tracks, but we headed back to camp along a well-used but tricky looking sideling (very tilted) rutted two-track along the mountainside. As I tried to keep us a little more level by driving on the ridges instead of in the ruts, the back end of the Landcruiser slid off the road, threatening to roll us down the mountainside. With the front wheels still on the road and the dog in my lap, we leaned into the driver’s side and prayed the low range 4WD gear we were in would pull us back up onto the narrow two-track. It did. The road leveled out a bit, D had me stop, walked around to the driver’s side, stepped up on the running board, and told me if I rolled this thing she was not going with me! I don’t blame her! We continued on, found a beautiful alpine meadow, stopped, spread a blanket, and relished being alive in one of God’s most glorious creations. Mere chance, or God’s plan? Once again, I believe he saved us for other things.
The third was a late Friday evening drive home from Denver. I was in the last year of my Master’s Degree program, an intensive study program offered at Lowry Air Force Base where I worked as a civil service employee at the Air Force Accounting and Finance Center. After a 6:00 to 1:30 shift, and a 2:00 to 10:00 class I headed back home, dead tired from the long work and class day. The last leg of my trip home to Boulder was on a curvy two lane highway through the foothills southeast of town. Near the end of the drive I nodded off at the wheel. Very quietly and then quite loudly a voice called my name, Terry, Terry! Suddenly I was wide awake and staring at a vertical rocky bluff about two car lengths directly ahead and off the left hand curve I was leaving. I was able to jerk the wheel just in time to keep the car on the road and make the curve. This one was God’s plan, no doubt in my mind! I can understand instinct kicking in with a situation like this, but I can’t explain a voice calling out my name very clearly, twice.
I went on to ace the master’s degree program that year, and the following year we had our first child, and moved back to Michigan to begin raising a family. Raising two brilliant children to be strong responsible adults was one of the great privileges we’ve shared. As the years went on we were also privileged to provide an example of a stable family for several young people in troubled or difficult situations, as well as a temporary home for four needy college students, plus our own daughter-in-law to be. I think our main thought was to be there when someone needed us, and it happened more often than we expected. We didn’t know that God had us right where He wanted us. I think we often don’t know what His plan is for us, but we end up living it without realizing until later that was it!
As we began our later years the medical challenges of chronic illnesses began. We both started experiencing things like arthritis and metabolic syndrome. But I was facing a diagnosis of type 2 diabetes, and surprised with another diagnosis of coronary artery disease, with a blockage so severe that a heart attack was very likely. Through God’s grace and the efforts of a very expert interventional cardiologist who was able to repair the damage, I avoided a heart attack and was given a new lease on life. I consider it living on borrowed time. Mere chance, or God’s plan? I think we were guided to the absolute most appropriately gifted person who could help see me through God’s plan.
My cardiologist worked his magic again five years later, as whatever I did seemed unable to prevent the advancing CAD and once again he was able to clear the blockage and extend my time on this planet. But in another five years he told me he couldn’t fix this one. It was time for bypass surgery. Through a concerted effort we were able to find a noted cardio-thoracic surgeon at one of the top heart hospitals in the country who successfully completed a double revascularization of my heart by rerouting chest arteries, a newer off-pump procedure he helped pioneer. Mere chance, or God’s plan? I find it hard to believe that mere dumb luck would get us a surgical appointment with one of the top surgeons at a top heart hospital only two miles from our winter home and only nine days after Christmas that year.
Unfortunately, only a little more than five years later my cardiologist found more serious blockages in both coronary arteries but not the bypasses, and this time the timing was terrible because over the previous five months in-depth testing determined that I had an incurable, but treatable if caught early enough, form of blood cancer. Treatment began just before the blockages were identified but couldn’t be suspended until the cancer had been arrested and reduced. Coincidentally we found an oncologist expert in this type of cancer within four days of our arrival at our winter home; I was diagnosed just six weeks later and began treatment just four weeks after that. My cardiologist treated my blockages with medication, and I was able to continue cancer treatments through the rest of the year with a second oncologist back at our summer home, also expert in my type of cancer! My cancer was substantially reduced, in November and January my blockages were repaired, and again I was off any heart related restrictions. Later in the year I was put on maintenance for my cancer, and I was given an “indefinite”, i.e., non-terminal, prognosis. Hey, I can live with that! Again, was this just an unbelievable string of coincidences, or God’s plan?
I believe I’ve been living on borrowed time for going on eighteen years now, with several chronic conditions that would have taken my life years ago without pharmaceutical and surgical intervention provided by physicians who are leaders in their fields. This is God’s plan, helped by God-gifted people He put in my path to help me see His plan. For me, my wife, and my life this is no accident, this is no coincidence, this is not dumb luck. God’s guiding hand has been present though my entire life and our life together.
You may not believe in God’s plans and timing as I do. I’m not even sure my beliefs match up exactly with Jesus teachings and the Bible’s lessons, but I believe every person needs to define their own faith and beliefs based on what Jesus and the Bible are teaching them as they grow, and what they can discern about God’s plan for their life.
As for me, I’ll continue to put my faith and trust in God’s time, not mine. – Pops
Words cannot begin to express what is running through my mind right now other than yes I agree,I believe and am so blessed to have you as my brother.
Love ya, bro!
Well thought out and beautifully written. His master plan for us is not known, but I trust in him to keep me going through the darkest days.